Alex: A Second Chance at Life
I had been sober for more than eight years, going to AA meetings and sponsoring as well as having a sponsor. In addition, I had attended Overeaters Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous, Al-Anon, and Codependents Anonymous. Still at the core of me I felt like a victim of life and of life’s circumstances, and inferior to most other people. All the twelve-step programs I experienced never healed me from my using; it was only sublimated. The drink or drug, I abstained from, but in its place came overworking, sex, shopping, relationships, and the list goes on.
Through the Brown Method, I gained an understanding of my deep dependence on other people, places, and situations that I had absolutely no control over. I came to understand that I was still using people to tell me I was okay. I still had the addict’s mind, where the drug of choice became the approval of other people. I was so afraid they would reject or abandon me that I would let them abuse me just so they wouldn’t leave. I was able to really comprehend how I gave my power away to everyone and everything.
Because of my work with Dr. Brown, I no longer seek outside myself for fulfillment or satisfaction. I have been empowered to set into action the future I always wanted but had shelved. Deep inside, I was waiting for the right person or circumstances to come along and save me!
Today I am self-reliant, and every day I put my energies into becoming more self-reliant and creating the beautiful life I want for myself. Fear doesn’t prevent me from taking action. I now seek my own counsel. I don’t defer my instincts or my intelligence to anyone, especially not authority figures. I trust myself implicitly. I have a sense of myself as being whole like I remember being as a child, but now it is so much greater because of my new level of consciousness.
My ability to concentrate and absorb things has dramatically increased because I no longer have racing thoughts and split thinking. I can focus all my attention on the task at hand.
My addictive, dependent mind has healed.
As a result I have gone back to school in addition to working full time, and I’m enjoying every bit of it. The satisfaction is coming from the work I’m doing, from my own efforts, and it is so sweet! I had no experience of how marvelous I could feel about myself, when all that has changed is my own level of consciousness.
Words can’t convey my gratitude. I have a second chance at life.